Ashes Breeze
by Huntress of Sacred Dreams
Summary: Ashpaw thinks she is just an ordinary apprentice until she wakes up in a dream and given a choice. Rule her Clan through murder and lies? Or become an ordinary warrior respected by her Clan? What would you choose if you had the weight of your sisters death on your shoulders? For LawlClan's Monthly Writing Challenge.


**This is for LawlClan's Monthly Writing Challenge!**

**The prompt was; "Some stories don't have happy endings. Some do. This would be one of the latter."**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Claw face, dodge blow, duck under belly, ram head into chest, bite leg until they give up. The battle technique ran through the gray tabby she-cat's mind as she squared up her opponent. Wide shoulders, big paws, heavy, strong and a little clumsy.

"Remember the rules! Claws unsheathed but no deep cuts and no deep bites, we want a clean fight!" a black tom yowled. Most cats from the Clan had gathered to witness the fight to prove if apprentices could beat warriors by themselves.

"Why do all these fights involve you Ashpaw?" a voice whispered. Ashpaw turned her head to see her mother's concerned tortoiseshell face only a few paw steps away.

"I'll be fine, I always am!" Ashpaw lied. She remembered the last fight she had gotten involved in. She and a few of the other apprentices had snuck out of camp to settle a dispute with three warriors from ShadowClan. Ashpaw had volunteered to fight the biggest warrior. The fight went on for ages until Ashpaw's opponent had fallen on her heavily, fracturing her shoulder. _Thank StarClan mother never found out about that fight!_

The black tom yowled for the fight to start and the warrior dove for Ashpaw. Ashpaw jumped nimbly out of his way, landing squarely on his broad shoulders with her thorn sharp claws. The warrior attempted to ram her into the trunk of a thick oak tree but a heartbeat before his back collided with the tree she jumped off and watched as he let out a yowl of pain.

"Not so tough now are we Blackwing?" Ashpaw teased, waving her tail coyly. She could hear her mother's yowl to stop but ignored it. Her whole Clan was watching her! Maybe she would finally earn respect for apprentices. Her thoughts were knocked right out of her head when Blackwing collided with her, sending her flying into a patch of mint. With a groan, Ashpaw opened her eyes to see the enraged warrior hurtling at her at full speed. Staggering to her paws Ashpaw began to charge at Blackwing yowling a battle cry as she went. _How about we play a game of mouse big boy?_

Blackwing didn't slow a step at the sight of the puny apprentice charging at him which pleased Ashpaw immensely. If her plan worked she may have won the fight already. The gap between the warrior and apprentice was shrinking at lightning speed until there was no space left. Ashpaw jumped onto Blackwing's head and tumbled to the ground behind him. Confused the black warrior turned to look at Ashpaw. She pointed to something in front of him. As he turned to look where he was going his head collided with a tree.

The thud reached Ashpaw's ears and she held back an amused purr. Her plan had worked and she had expected to be showered with yowls of congratulations. But when silence was all she got she was confused. _Surely Blackwing was knocked out by the collision with the tree. I mean his skull can't be that thick!_

Ashpaw's question was answered when something heavy pushed her to the ground. Pain seared her flank as claws pricked it and blood began to ooze from the wounds.

"Stupid apprentice," Blackwing growled in her ear, "You can't beat me!"

An old trick came to Ashpaw's mind and she made her body go as limp as fresh kill. Blackwing fell for her trick and the weight on her chest lessened. With a screech of anger, Ashpaw shot up and clawed Blackwing across his face. The dark warrior let out a bellow of pain and fell backwards.

"And you said I was the stupid one!" Ashpaw hissed. Purrs of amusement rung out from the crowd and Ashpaw turned to bow dramatically to them. She had her jaw open and was about to say something when Blackwing shoved her face into the sandy floor.

"Mouse dung," she hissed into the sand. With a grunt she pushed her shoulders up and felt them hit a bone. Darkwing's muffled cry reached her ears and she relished in it. Ashpaw pulled her face from the sand and began to spit sand out of her mouth. _Warriors, always thinking their better than all of us! _

Ashpaw's eyes strayed to where her mother was sitting only to find her talking with another warrior. Sighing, Ashpaw turned back to face Darkwing and let out a squeak of surprise when he appeared in front of her.

"You're making me look bad in front of the she-cats little one," he growled.

"Oh really! I didn't notice, I just thought you were always this bad at fighting!" Ashpaw exclaimed loudly. With a purr she swiped her claws across his chest just as his claws raked down her face. Her shriek of pain was enough to chase a pair of crows from a nearby pine tree. Pain burned across her face as blood spilt onto the sandy floor, turning the gritty yellow crystals blood red. Ashpaw's whole body felt as if it was on fire when Blackwing's claws gouged a path from her shoulder to her tail.

"Stop this madness now!" screeched an enraged voice. Blackwing stopped his paw covered with blood raised above his head. Spitting out dirt, Ashpaw raised her head and let out a feeble mew.

"Hello Ivystar,"

Ivystar stalked into the sandy clearing her green eyes blazing, "What would the other Clans say if they saw a warrior and an apprentice from our Clan fighting each other like this!"

The silence was unbearable for Ashpaw as she remained pressed to the ground by Blackwing's heavy paws. It was humiliating. She could already feel the mocking stares of her Clan mates. _Tomorrow's going to be tonnes of fun!_

"Dawnfeather take Ashpaw to Icedash now," Ivystar ordered to her deputy. Dawnfeather padded forward, blood staining her blue paws already. She snarled at Blackwing, sending the black tom scurrying backwards. Ashpaw's pained pale blue eyes met Dawnfeather's gentle amber gaze.

"Don't worry," she whispered, "You'll be fine Ivystar is more annoyed at the warriors,"

With Dawnfeather's gentle words echoing throughout her head Ashpaw slipped into a dark oblivion.

The sound of rushing wind filled Ashpaw's ears waking her from her painful slumber. Yawning, she opened her eyes and let out a shriek of fear and surprise. She was standing on a small rock in the middle of a raging river. Ice cold water splashed past the rock, coating Ashpaw in its icy spray. Her heart beat increased rapidly as water rushed over her paws.

"Someone help me!" she shrieked but the wind tossed her cry for help into the rivers murky depths.

"_Don't despair little one," _a voice whispered in her head.

Ashpaw swung her head from side to side looking for the voice's owner. "_I'm over her."_ Her breath caught in her throat as the speaker came into view. It padded across the raging torrent as if it was no more than dirt. The stranger's fur was inky black and moved as if it was made of mist. It swirled in hypnotising patterns lulling Ashpaw into a sense of false security. With a growl she shook her head, dislodging the fuzziness from her brain. The creature opened its eyes and Ashpaw almost fell into the river in shock. They were redder than the blood that had spilt from her body. "_Me and you, we are alike in a way."_

"How are we alike in any way? I am living and it appears that you are dead," Ashpaw hissed, fluffing her fur out in an attempt to look bigger. Laughter filled her head as the mist creature swirled closer.

"_You have a thirst to fight. I can see it in your eyes."_

Ashpaw looked down into the water, fear shadowing her gaze, "Some say I fight to avenge my sister."

"_Do you believe them?"_

"No," Ashpaw replied firmly, "I fight because I have to prove myself to my Clan that I am not a weak apprentice."

"_It doesn't have to be that way little one." _

"I don't have a choice. Until I become a warrior I will be treated as a weakling," Ashpaw snarled. Her eyes strayed to the mist creature and she watched perplexed as it split itself into two cats. One darker than the darkest shadow. The other lighter than the full moon.

"_You have been chosen to receive a choice blessed by both StarClan and the Place of No Stars." _

Ashpaw snorted, "So these are the kind of dreams you get when you lose too much blood!"

"_This is not a subject to joke about Ashpaw. Both these decisions have rewards. But they both have consequences and challenges you must overcome in order to succeed."_

"Before I choose what path I want to take," Ashpaw muttered sarcastically, "Could you perhaps tell me who and what you are."

"_You want to know who I am? I am the beginning and the end. Your friend and your foe. Your hero and your slayer. Dark and light. Good and evil. Alpha and omega. I am death."_

The apprentice stifled an amused purr, "How am I supposed to believe any of this!"

"_Look into the eyes of each cat one at a time and your question will answer itself."_

Ashpaw rolled her eyes and stared into the crimson eyes of the dark cat. The crimson eyes began to spin until they formed a picture of Ashpaw's home. Cats were crowding around strikingly a familiar looking gray tabby. _It's me! Why are my Clan congratulating me for losing?_

The vision morphed into another vision. They showed a dry forest with fronds of ferns curling over in death. Ashpaw watched in amazement as a warrior stashed a plump crow in hollow tree and then vanished back into the dying forest. A few moments passed before a gray tabby stalked from the shadows, her belly brushing the ground and stole the crow from the tree. The vision changed again, showing Ashpaw her Clan congratulating the gray tabby again. _They think I caught the crow but why would I do that?_

Flames sprung up and dark smoke covered the image from Ashpaw's eyes. When the smoke cleared she could see the gray tabby looked taller, older but what she was doing surprised Ashpaw. The gray tabby was stalking Dawnfeather like the deputy was a piece of prey. Ashpaw closed her eyes when the sound of Dawnfeather's helpless cries reached her ears. When she opened them the deputy lay in a pool of her own blood, her eyes staring up at the gray tabby. _Whats happening to me? I would never even dream of killing Dawnfeather. Wait I am now...Does that mean? No of course I would never kill the deputy. _

While Ashpaw argued with her mental self the image began to swirl in stunning patterns until it stopped on the picture of the gray tabby sitting on a ledge watching her Clan with malice in her eyes. The images stopped swirling and the eyes returned to their shade of blood red.

"What was that?" Ashpaw breathed her whole body shaking.

"_That is what will happen if you choose that path." _

"If I choose that path I will be congratulated for losing, steal prey from a warrior, kill my own deputy and yet somehow still become leader of my Clan?" she scoffed twitching her whiskers in amusement.

"_Yet that path holds many consequences, some will haunt you long past the day of your death, for the right to lead you Clan."_

The thought of leading her Clan descended on Ashpaw like a heavy fog. _It would be nice to lead my Clan but I would never kill for it. _"It sounds like a big risk for the honour of leading my Clan."

The mist creature dipped its head spilling black mist over Ashpaw's nose. She wrinkled it as the smell of death rolled over her head.

"_Look into the eyes of the other cat to see another path."_

Shrugging off the memories of the last few visions Ashpaw turned her eyes and stared into the startling light blue abyss's that were the light cats eyes.

Almost at once they began to twist and turn forming a vision similar to the start of the other path. Except the cats weren't congratulating the gray tabby that Ashpaw had worked out was her, instead they were casting mocking glances. Voices of her clan mates called out taunting insults.

"Weakling"

"Useless"

"Waste of space"

"Scaredy mouse"

The insults formed a repetitive string constantly playing at the back of Ashpaw's mind driving her mad until she let out a shriek. "Stop!"

Silence fell over her ears but the words had sunk to deep in to her head, resurfacing a few moments later. Ashpaw scrunched her eyes shut hoping to break the connection between the vision and her head. Finally the voices cut off with a final shout of "I'll shred you into mouse dust!"

The apprentice's breath came in short gasps as she tried to steady her racing heart beat.

"_Do not fear the visions they cannot harm you in anyway."_

Ashpaw nodded and opened her eyes to see a completely different seen than before. Her vision self stalked through bright grass, eyes set looking at the dark tail of a huge rabbit. A bird let out a shriek nearby scaring the rabbit into a bolt. Ashpaw watched in amusement as the rabbit bolted straight into the paws of her vision self. _Must have been a rabbit from WindClan if it was that stupid! _

The eyes changed again, this time showing Ashpaw's vision self beneath High Ledge looking up at Ivystar with pride dancing in her blue eyes. She dipped her head in acceptance of what Ashpaw assumed was her warrior name and the Clan yowled her new name to the stars. There was no hostility or teasing in their gazes simply happiness and joy. _If only they looked at me that way now._

As the vision changed once again Ashpaw found her mind straying to the night her sister died.

"_Come on Silverpaw!" Ashpaw whispered, "Don't be such a scaredy mouse!"_

_A dusty silver she-cat crawled further into the thorn bush, squeaking quietly as a thorn dug into her pelt, "Do we have to do this Ashpaw? I don't like sneaking out of camp just to prove something to Singepaw."_

_Ashpaw rolled her eyes and shoved through the final bush of thorns. A blast of cold wind blew a flurry of freezing snow into her face making her shiver. A grunt announced the arrival of Silverpaw as she thrust her way out into the pitch black forest. "So where are we supposed to go and what are we supposed to get Ashpaw?"_

"_We need to head to the edge of the ShadowClan border and grab a bright red flower me and Singepaw spotted on patrol today."_

_Silverpaw sighed and followed her sister through the thick snow. Her long pelt felt weighed down as the soft snow melted on her warm pelt, dragging it down. Breathing was painful as the icy cold air rushed down her throat. It felt like thousands of tiny thorns were tearing down her throat every time she took a deep breath. "Ashpaw," Silverpaw whispered, "How far do we have left?"_

_Ashpaw sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Not far, I can already smell ShadowClan's disgusting stench." Another blast of cold air blew both apprentices fur back, chilling them to their very bones. More snow drifted lazily to the ground settling on the last patches of green, suffocating the plants under a white blanket._

"_There it is!" Ashpaw's shrill mew cut through the still silence. The gray apprentice raced forward and picked a bright red flower up in her jaws. _

"_We can go now right?" Silverpaw asked. _

"_Of course! I can't wait to show Singepaw the flower!"_

_As the two apprentices turned a low growl set their fur bristling. "W-w-what was that Silverpaw?" Ashpaw stammered. Silverpaw shrugged and took a few steps backwards. _

_A tawny red shape slid out from behind a snow covered bush, its white muzzle parted in a greedy snarl. "Oh no, it's a fox!" Silverpaw screeched, "Run!"_

_The apprentices took off, fleeing for their lives from the pursuing fox. But their short legs were no match for the fox's fully grown long ones. Pain seared Silverpaw's scruff as the fox sunk his fangs into it, lifting her high off the ground._

"_Silverpaw no!" Ashpaw yowled, flinging herself at the fox. She raked her claws down the fox's side drawing blood. The fox growled through Silverpaw's scruff and dropped the silver apprentice. It turned on Ashpaw pinning her to the ground under its heavy paw. Before it could sink its fangs into Ashpaw's neck Silverpaw jumped into its back, screeching loudly. _

_The fox was clearly overwhelmed, snapping its jaws shut on empty air repeatedly. Ashpaw jumped up flashing her unsheathed paw across the fox's muzzle spraying blood over both of them. The fox retaliated by smashing Ashpaw across the head with a strong paw. Ashpaw was flung across the snow and crashed into a tree where she lay motionless._

_Silverpaw was left to fend off the fox on her own. She was still hanging onto the fox's back with thorn sharp claws, sinking her fangs into its neck occasionally. The fox reared up tossing the unprepared Silverpaw onto the cold ground. She lay on the ground winded as the fox prowled closer, its jaws twisted into a malice coated smile. _

_Ashpaw groaned and opened her eyes to see Silverpaw hanging from the fox's jaws. Her mouth was opened into a soundless wail as the fox thrashed its head from side to side. _

"_Ashpaw!" Silverpaw finally wailed. The sound of her sisters pain filled cry sent Ashpaw into action and she dove for the fox. With a battle cry Ashpaw lashed her claws across the fox's throat and hot blood splashed over her paw. The fox dropped Silverpaw with a yelp and took off into the night, blood still dripping from its neck._

_A moan came from Silverpaw as Ashpaw nudged her gently, "Come on Silverpaw. We gotta get you to Icedash."Silverpaw twisted her head slowely, her green eyes filled with pain and sorrow. _

"_No Ashpaw. I will not make it all the way back to camp."_

"_What do you mean?" Ashpaw whispered but she already knew the answer. _

_Silverpaw's breathing was becoming lighter as she brushed her plumy tail across Ashpaw's flank, "Be good my sister. Take care of mother and father. I will be waiting for you in StarClan."_

_Ashpaw watched helplessly as her sister took one last gulping breath and died. _

The memory ended suddenly as the eyes took the form of another vision. This time it showed Ashpaw's vision self nuzzling three tiny kits closer to her body. A light brown tom with black flecks that look like pieces of ash looked over her. Real Ashpaw peered closer at the tom's face and gasped in shock. The tom's face was misty and she couldn't tell who it was. But before Ashpaw could say anything the eyes morphed back into their original abyss of blue.

"_You have now seen both paths. Do you still think that I don't exist?"_

"I do not know what to think anymore," Ashpaw answered slowely. A piercing flash seared her eyes and rain began to splash onto her pelt.

"_The time has come for you to choose which path you wish to follow. Remember both paths have rewards but both paths also hold many challenges and consequences."_

Ashpaw fell silent as she looked at both paths. One light. One dark. One where she would be mocked. The other where she would rule.

Yet something called her to the light path, the thought of having kits was a happy thought.A question suddenly came to her mind.

"Before I choose my path can I ask you a question?"

"_You wish to know why your eyes could not see the face of you kits father?" _

Ashpaw nodded.

"_There a some things in life you deserve to find yourself. Love is one of them. So is hate. That is why you could not see his face."_

"That makes more sense now," she mewed to the misty figure, "I have chosen which path I wish to take."

"_Then jump into the river on the side of the path you are going to take."_

"Will I remember any of this?"

Laughter chimed in her ears. "_Yes little one, you will remember this dream for as long as you wish."_

Swallowing her fear Ashpaw stared down into the frothy water. She took a deep breath and plunged into it. The icy water dragged down at her fur, threatening to end her but with all her strength Ashpaw broke above the surface in time to see the cat with the stunning blue eyes.

"You chose well my dear," it whispered. It's voice sounded like the leaf fall wind rushing through the trees, carrying leaves of red, gold and brown with it.

With the words of the blue eyed cat still whispering in her ears Ashpaw woke up to see Icedash looking down at her with concern in her amber eyes.

"Are you okay Ashpaw? You were mewing in you sleep."

Ashpaw took a few deep breaths to steady herself before answering, "I'm fine Icedash. Can I leave now?"

The white medicine cat nodded and shuffled out of the way to let Ashpaw past. The gray apprentice stepped out of the den and into bright sunlight. The mocking glares of her Clan greeted her.

"Weakling," they called, "Scaredy mouse. Useless. Waste of space."

"Taunt me all you like but I will not retaliate," Ashpaw yowled as she vanished into the apprentice den. She stumbled to her nest and collapsed into it, tired after her dream. A rough tongue lapped at her pelt making her jump. She twisted her head to find out who it was.

"Oh it's you Singepaw," she mewed.

Singepaw looked up, "You look tired. Get some rest."

Ashpaw yawned as she settled her head on her paws and drifted into a deep sleep. Singepaw watched her for a few moments before curling up into a ball, his light brown fur with black flecks that looked like pieces of ash brushing against Ashpaw's tabby gray fur.

Ashpaw's life played out almost identical to what she saw in the eyes of the light cat.

For days after her fight with Blackwing went wrong her Clan mocked her. Throwing insults at her whenever she walked past. Blackwing was a constant threat, always insuring that she never forgot the battle she had lost. Singepaw however stuck by Ashpaw's side when no other cat would. Even Ashpaw's own mother turned her back on her only surviving daughter. Singepaw was the one who helped Ashpaw through some of her darkest times.

He was there the day Ashpaw caught a huge rabbit during a famine. He had twitched his whiskers in amusement at her comment on how the rabbit was so stupid it must have been from WindClan. The Clan had fallen silent when the two apprentices staggered into camp, hauling the rabbit behind them.

"Who caught that?" Ivystar had yowled from High Ledge.

Singepaw had answered proudly, "Ashpaw did."

From that day on the Clan forgot the battle with Blackwing and congratulated Ashpaw on her impressive hunting. She became the best apprentice hunter the Clan had ever seen.

During Leaf-bare when cold snow fell from the sky Ashpaw, Singepaw and another apprentice called Skypaw received their warrior names.

"From this day forward these apprentices will be known as Skyfeather, Singefur and Ashbreeze!"

Ashbreeze had stood in front of the Clan with pride as they shouted her name to the appearing stars, she had grown closer to Singefur during their time has apprentices.

It was also during that leaf bare that Singefur confessed his love for Ashbreeze. It was on a rare sunny day when the suns weak rays shone down on the snow covered ground. Singefur had taken Ashbreeze to a clearing where a single red rose still stood tall despite the snow. It was in that clearing that he asked Ashbreeze to be his mate. And it was in that clearing she said yes.

A few moons later Ashbreeze gave birth to three beautiful kits. Sunkit, Nightkit and Mintkit.

Ashbreeze lived for many ripe moons and watched her kits grow into apprentices and then mighty warriors. By the time her three kits became warriors both Ashbreeze and Singefur had retired to the elders den after a life of battle and hunting.

It was a warm green leaf afternoon when death came to greet Ashbreeze. It came in a surprisingly familiar form of a cat made of black mist.

"_Hello Ashbreeze it is good to see that you have lived such an eventful life."_

"It is good to see you again my dream friend," Ashbreeze purred.

"_You already know why I am here?"_

The elderly warrior nodded, "It is my time to leave this life my friend."

"_Come Ashbreeze, walk with me as I take you to meet your sister."_

Ashbreeze's ears pricked at the mention of her sister, "Silverpaw? She is waiting for me?"

"_Yes and she is looking forward to seeing you again."_

With a grunt Ashbreeze heaved herself to her paws but stopped, "Wait, what about Singefur?"

"_Do not fear for him Ashbreeze, he shall join you very soon."_

She nodded and followed the cat made of mist out of the camp and into the forest.

As the sun dipped below the horizon that night, a single star shot across the sky signalling the arrival of a new soul to the ranks of StarClan.

The Clan mourned the loss of one of their best warriors for many days but with the birth of new kits they soon forgot about the old elder. But her tale would never be forgotten and would be told to the youngest kits so that they would always remember that sometimes the best things happen to the most un-likely cats.


End file.
